Pearltruths

If You’re a Believer, This Post is for You

Practice Knowing You is the Best Self Gift

Today is the day I express being single as a gift from the Holy Spirit. It is the most freeing feeling in my world as I wish for it to be the same to others. Hence, I’m writing this piece hoping to inspire others to do the same if you haven’t already. Along with my singleness comes a stable job, my own place, which is near downtown in the safest community as long as I’ve been here. And lastly, I have my own schedule. Personal and business, it’s all structured, but sometimes not. Aha, that’s the fun part.

Being in a relationship for me has been different in that it wasn’t. I went into one not knowing what a healthy one looked like and as a result they didn’t work out for me. There were too many ups and downs, I never felt safe, and I didn’t have fun. I didn’t know who I was for the longest time. It brought me to a dark place, and it took awhile to get back to my happy place. And I do mean awhile. Now that I am in my happy place, I feel it’s kind of hard to back track. Or at least I feel like I’m backtracking if I try to look for a connection and so I don’t. Well, not yet. I feel like I haven’t been in this euphoria long enough to really enjoy so I stay. There’s more to explore, so I explore, because I look at it as an adventure. It’s a little hard to describe, so for now let’s leave it at that.

What I’ve Observed Out There and How to Take That First Step

I see too many people in relationships that I noticed shouldn’t be in one. Some are monophobic or monophobia; while others have fear of abandonment. I know this, because I used to feel this way and worked on myself to get where I am. So I know. I’ve personally been there, done that. Hold on before you get upset. I also know there are good men/ women out there. The question is. You have to ask yourself this…..seriously. Have they done the work? Have you done the work? What many forget, or don’t want to do is be patient. That’s number 1. You also don’t want to accept and admit that working on self is very important. That’s number 2. You want everything to be a quick fix. But, let’s be real. That’s not how it works. That’s also why we’re in this big mess of relationship issues. You are with the wrong person, or partner. Call it what you want. Stop rushing to get into a relationship. It’s not everything. And this is what get’s you choosing the wrong person in the first place. If you want to be happy. Take a risk. Give yourself one year of being single! That one year will go fast. Especially, when you start feeling the perks. You’ll want to be single longer. Take stock, and see how you feel, in your own company. Pray a lot, for what you want and what your goals are. Praying It goes hand in hand with doing the work. Self reflection… and stop being afraid already. If you’re having a hard time brushing off fear, then do that first step afraid. Yes, take the fear with you. Live.

How can I stress enough how important this is. You are strong so give yourself the credit It’s all about taking risks and having faith. Do you! There’s never any shame, and you’re not alone in being single. There are plenty of singles out there. There’s nothing wrong with it, and it’s not a requirement, nor mandatory to be in a relationship. You have the holy spirit living in you. Every single person has the holy spirit, so you’re not alone. See a therapist even if it’s just temporary to help you get started. I did that too.

What happens when you do the work, all else falls into place. You’ll end up doing the choosing in what your really want without reservation. However, keep in mind, timing is everything, which means you also can’t rush time. Do not wait for it to happen. This is where patience comes into place. Discover your hobbies, or take up a hobby, go out with friends as an outlet for decompressing, take care of your kids, get a pet- dog or cat, keep working, make and attend your doctor appointments, do volunteer work, keep track of your business, or open one. Structure your schedules where you’re not stressing. Explore what lights you up! Attend your classes and limit your alcohol consumption when you’re partying. Learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat. This is why you take stock.

*As always I welcome all feedback. This is a judgment free space for comments. Please keep all communication civil and free from personal attacks