In the late 1980’s, the middle school in Hayward combined the eighth-grade class with high school. So, I promoted to 8th grade, I was considered a high schooler at Mt. Eden High School, making it a 9-12th grade high school in Hayward. I really didn’t think much of it. It’s just high school I thought. Even so, it got menacing for me as I was a slow learner and didn’t realize this until later as an adult. (observing and looking back at what I could’ve done differently). Something I wished I’d known sooner. For some reason, my thinking cap was way off in all of my classes. High School in general, it seemed was a “joke”. I felt like I knew nothing. I did have friends, but I went all through high school probably unconscious and not even aware of it. I needed friends so I joined a group of teenage girls. Junior Pinay Crew(JPC), that was the name of the group. There were five of them, making me the sixth one initiated into their group.
Today, I would sign myself up on the waitlist for people on the spectrum, had I known better. I am not ashamed to own that, as it has shaped me into the person, I am now. But frankly, I don’t see a point in doing so at this time in my life. And I’m more interested in feeding my personal growth through expression, by writing.
In elementary school, and up until middle school, I was an angry child. My high school friends noticed I was always angry or had an attitude. They didn’t really say much. Communication wasn’t a thing amongst my clique, “girlfriends” and as a result I only learned this later on in adulthood, looking back at it. It suggests that….. no wonder I always felt that I didn’t fit, where and how I fit in. That was really sad for me. Looking back at all of it. It was a pretty rough confusing childhood during my elementary years. Today, I know now that it’s ok to be different. I believe they call it superpower.
Leave a comment